Saturday, October 29, 2011

Exhibit #82: The Evil Dead

Ahhh, Samhain, when the curtains between the living and the dead part ever so slightly. This is a place the Museum is comfortable. We like dead things. To wit, a few rotting corpses we’ve exhumed from the mass graves that are old cocktail books:

Blue Devil $8
Dry gin (Beefeater), Luxardo maraschino, lemon juice, and a little curacao bleu, up. Soul harvesting can really get you down. The boss and his goddamned quotas, hellish working conditions … it’s a drag, ya know? Some of those bastards are fatass sons of bitches too, you get your back all wrenched when you toss them around on your pitchfork. Throw one of these back down yer flame-hole and you’ll be ready to fry again.

Goat’s Delight $8
Kirschwasser, Martell VSOP cognac, cream, orgeat, and a dash of absinthe, up. All hail the Goat! Sup upon his curdled milk! Cavort and frolic with him in the woods! Defile thine temple!

Grünland $7
Rye vodka, kummel (caraway, fennel & cumin flavored liqueur), a little lemon juice and dashes of crème de menthe and absinthe, up. The Scandanavians were the last to convert to the slave religion of xianity and it’s the home of black metal. And you know the Vikings were sheer terror for those god-loving continentals – Valhalla 1, Christian peasants 0. Thor promised an end to monsters – Jesus promised world peace. How’d that work out? Just sayin’. A good one to drink when Bathory comes up on the iPod. We shall raise our cups to Quorthon! Skal!

Hell Cocktail $7
Martell VSOP cognac and crème de menthe, up with a red pepper rim. A fun fire and ice trick, this one. Like drinking a leper, French kissing a disease, or putting salt in your urethra. Nice! The end of all life cannot come soon enough. Exactly the thing a waste of tasty flesh like you needs. Word.

Mexican Firing Squad $12
A double pour of El Viejito silver tequila, a good amount of lime juice, some pomegranate syrup, Angostura bitters, crushed ice, tall. Any drink that references mass murder has to be good, right? From the El Cucaracha bar in Mexico City, 1937.

Old Nick $8
Rye whiskey, Drambuie, lemon and orange juices, up. Watch out, or Old Nick will git ya! The Dark One takes many names. Not long from now, He will fly his horned beasts through the air by night, and enter homes by means of the fireplace -- the ancient pagans' most sacred spot in their homes. Who might Santa really be? SATAN & SANTA employ the same letters, and are in perfect order right before your eyes, and all you have to do is move the "N".

A dog returns to its own vomit.
Happy Halloween!

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